Oh, hello DS106 world!
I have to admit I typed this sentence a few times before I realized how very timid I have become when it comes to expressing myself in written form, first person, naked for the world to see.
But I’m no stranger to it.
There was a time that I blogged incessantly (on MySpace, if you want to know how long ago), sometimes multiple times a day, about everything from the research I was doing at the time, to what I thought was heartbreak, to the tar stained rafters of the bar I’d ended up in and the way old glass sags in windowsills.
I was the loneliest I’d ever felt in my life. At the same time, my lifeline was this blog – I felt extremely connected to the people who were following along with my meanderings, to the point that I began to integrate my correspondence with them. I fluctuated constantly and unpredictably between a very strong sense of not-giving-a-shit, and total insecurity about my own narcissism. Unsurprisingly this abandon/self-consciousness cocktail led to incredible volumes of random musings and tortured arguments with myself which have become upon retrospect some of the most meaningful, honest things I’ve ever taken the time to note.
I just watched Neil Gaiman’s speech and his ‘message in a bottle’ metaphor really resonated with me because all the content I’ve created since I was 13 still exists out there, in a cloud, as messages in bottles for all my future me’s.
I stopped daily blogging about 7 years ago because I got distracted by being alive. Now I live on Maui and tell stories about animals for a living, which I love, it’s my dream job really. But as time has gone by I’ve found I have a growing interest in digital identity, and I would like to join the conversation as myself, and not just a voice for an organization. I’m hoping this exercise will help me to rediscover and define who I am today – another ‘message in a bottle’ for all my future selves to relive, reflect upon and learn from.